She began to shake me violently as I cowered in fear. Why was she so persistent?! Physically and mentally jerked back and forth, I couldn’t decide whether or not to acknowledge her voice. The teacher had said not to, but this child was relentless.
I was back in school, sitting shoulder to shoulder with my classmates. Far off in the distance I recognized the face of my kindergarten teacher, who had given us clear instructions not to talk. Naturally, the most talkative girl in the class was sitting on my left. The people-pleasing perfectionist within me was torn. Maybe I could turn my head toward her and just listen…that wasn’t talking….
No sooner than my attempted compromise did I hear the teacher give the ominous reminder that those who were talking would be punished. I realized that even engaging as a listener would render me guilty by association.
As her attempts at my attention intensified, a horrible thought hit me.
What if this little girl has something urgent to tell me? What if she knows something the teacher doesn’t?
Pushed by an emotional whirlwind, I finally made the decision to get up and run away. Although panicked, I took confidence in knowing that I would not be held responsible for being obedient. I knew that no matter what this girl thought was so important, she couldn’t know better than the teacher.
The obnoxiously upbeat music of my alarm jolted me back into a grim reality. I remembered the tasks I had been given for the week and could already feel the voice of anxiety spreading toxicity through my mind. For over half of the day, the struggle to let God handle my fear was becoming a losing battle.
It wasn’t until a conversation with a trusted confidant that I heard God speak….
Haleigh, just listen to the Teacher.
Anxiety takes on so many forms, but its trap is always the same. It undermines the counsel of those who love you the most, and wreaks havoc on a sound mind. When fed, it leads to a series of unanswerable questions that shake the firmest of foundations. Anxiety arrogantly pretends to be a close friend warning you of pending doom, yet costs you relationships, peace, and fellowship with God.
No matter how convincing, anxiety does not know more than the Teacher.